Conversations with Doctors.

I met some really great, kind doctors while I was working, that I cant say enough nice things about. They were patient with me as a new nurse, and they were the quickest to compliment my nursing and appreciate my work. On the other hand, because we don't live in puppies-n-candycane land, as you might imagine...not all interactions were of the positive sort. Below, a compilation of my, and some friend/colleague conversations with doctors. These are not sweeping generalizations, they are actual conversations that have occured. So before I begin I want to say thank you to doctors who treat nurses like human beings and not ostomy bags.
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me: hi Dr X, I'm calling on pt X in room X, Dr. Hospitalist wants to order a PICC but needs your authorization first.

Dr X on phone: *insert ridiculously fast, incomprehensible prolonged unnecessary yelling here*
.
Dr X later that day, in person: Hi, are you the nurse for pt X? how is he doing? hey, (lowers voice, leans in close), where are you from? (...). Oh, I thought you were. Well, have a great day!

(um did I not look like what you imagined on the phone?)
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new night ICU RN: pt in room X has a blood sugar of (insert ridiculously high number here)
doc on call: pick a number between 1 and 10
nurse: excuse me?
doc: pick a number between 1 and 10
nurse: 8
doc: okay, give him 8 units of regular insulin. *hangs up*


(is this even legal?)
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cards on call:  why are you calling me when this patient's trop's are not critical?
night nurse who waited until 6am to call as courtesy to notoriously grumpy doc: I am still required by hospital policy to notify you of the elevation
*long silence*
nurse: do you have orders for me, or not?
*long silence*


(way to compromise patient safety doc. just give the damn orders or hang up. )
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cards doc walks in: who the fuck smells?!
nurse: I am wearing perfume. and don't speak to me that way.
doc: this is a hospital for fuck's sake!


(ok, he has a point, but...whats with the delivery?)
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me: hi doc, pt in room x is requesting ibuprofen for (insert pain here)
doc: *waves me off, in a friendly way*
me: so then, you'll put in the order?
doc: *waves me off again, friendly again*
me: so then should I put in the order?
doc: *waves me off once again*


(WTF BRO, how did you get through med school? Learn to communicate!)
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